8 months and 3 weeks since surgery. i have lost 100 pounds since my pre-op weight.
things are definitely slowing down....4 pounds lost in the past 3 weeks. i did take another mini-fill today because i feel like i am eating too much. but i am also eating the wrong things. i know it. i was honest at the doctor today.
what this comes down to is that i am realizing that it is time for me to stop riding the lap-band train and realize that this is where both the habits need to change IMMEDIATELY and that i have to start thinking like a dieter somewhat. and that fucking sucks. because i hate dieting. i am a bad dieter. and with dieting comes bad behaviors. sneaking. making silly food bargains with myself. obsessing about the next meal. and more that i just don't want to talk about here right now. UGH.
but whatever. i lost 100 pounds. la la la.
Showing posts with label fill. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fill. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
what i did on my long weekend. by shrinking mommy
so i totally underestimated my restriction this morning and ate a little after a morning protein shake...this has left me sliming all morning at work...so instead of eating lunch today i will catch-up on my blogging while continuing to slime and hiccup loudly....i haven't blogged since friday morning for no other reason than i live in paradise and was busy working on my tan.... (excuse the blurry picture but it was taken by the princess -- but check out moi in an Old Navy dress!)
so...friday we went to a water park and walking around in my bathing suit i did not feel like i was the fattest person there. whether that was true or not, i don't care...i felt "average". it is one of those parks with a water playground, lazy river tube ride and two water slides. i dumped the princess on a friend and went on the water slide. woo-hoo! we actually were there for 4 hours.
then saturday morning we got up and the princess rode her bike for one mile while i walked along side of her and "worked on my tan". then we went down to the pool where i found the perfect spot for the sun in the pool and moved my legs while "working on my tan". saturday afternoon i laid 18 bags of mulch around the outside of the house and continued to "work on my tan". i was still on post-fill liquids but hungry so had a lot of concern over my level of restriction and whether she would ever come back to me like a long-lost first love.
monday morning we decided to get up early and join some friends and watch the space shuttle take-off. we are about 2 hours from the launch pad but in the dark of morning we got a pretty spectacular view.
and then last night i did something different and that is part of my therapy work...instead of going to support group, i went back to my "straight book club". they meet the first monday of every month and i stopped going after surgery. one of the issues we have identified in therapy is my control issues. and part and parcel of that issue is the fact that i always find myself in leadership roles. being in leadership roles leads to me having to sometimes censor myself and that leads to frustration and a need for an outlet. and since food can no longer be my outlet i need to find other things for me to just relax, enjoy and participate. i am in charge as a solo-parent at home. i am in charge as a department director at work. i am "in charge" in many other situations i put myself into. so in going through the things i enjoy my therapist and i identified this book club as i am the leader of my other one. it was nice to go back. of course i got an amazing reaction on my "new look". this is a real interesting group for me to be involved in. if there is ever a real housewives of boca raton on bravo i think a couple may be casted. i once went to a rhinestone party at a member's home and i swear there was so much silicone and botox in the room i was expecting dr. 90210 to come out of the back of the house and do a housecall. but, hey, they love me and i love them.
i am leaving on friday for a business trip alone in new orleans. i know... rough life. i am committed to hitting the hotel gym or even better walking around the french quarter briskly at least twice while i am there. also, i canceled going to place poker tonight but kept my babysitter in the hopes i can get some things done around the house and get in an hour of laps in the pool or a brisk walk. i hate exercise. i hate every moment of it. but if in the end my tan improves... i will do it. i also plan to catch up on the blogs tonight as well.
Friday, April 2, 2010
the joke was on me...
on wednesday i noticed i was getting hungry pretty fast and eating more than i "should" so i called the surgeon's office for a fill. i did not get a fill because i was at my sweet spot two weeks ago at my monthly check-up and BAM it was gone. so, of course, my daydream as i drove to the surgeon's office yesterday was that i would jump on the dreaded scale and see i lost 8 pounds in two weeks...NO. 2 pound loss in 2 weeks. not acceptable. i was so bummed. the PA i see could see it. i wouldn't do my usual chitchat. i was knocked off my pedestal....big time. i took a 1/4 of cc fill. she says that at this point the fills are smaller. i hope this brings me back to where i was. so the PA and i talked and of course she talked to me about exercise. ugh.
so....i left there in.a.mood. fine, i thought, i won't go back to the office and i won't pick the princess up early...i will go home and walk the fucking 2 miles around my neighborhood. and then maybe, just maybe, i will get in the pool and do laps. then...i drove past a fabulous shopping center and what is better than pigging out and/or exercising...that's right -- SHOPPING!!!!! so i ended up going into old navy in the first time in years. i know, i know, we are supposed to be boycotting them after their jeans were so mean to Jen. but i promise i did not even look at the jeans rack. no instead i went into the dressing room with a 2XL dress. came out buying an XL dress! then i went to payless and got a cute pair of flats and then Avenue for a bolero type top to wear over the dress since the dress is a tube maxi dress. and by that time i.felt.much.better. and, of course, by that time there was no time to really get a good exercise in so i went to whole foods to stock up on fresh soups for the next couple of post-fill days. and by then there really was no time to do anything so i went to pay a bill in person. who pays a bill in person in 2010? a person avoiding reality named heidi who weighs 256 pounds...that's who.
finally, i went and got the princess from school and we did come home and go in the pool but i basically stood in a good spot for tanning. i did move my legs a little but not much.
last night i had 3 small chocolate eggs that the princess brought home from school. yeah...i stole candy from my underweight kid to sabotage my weight loss. lol.
(please don't feel sorry for me. i am definitely not as upset today as i was yesterday and i know it will get better)
so then i got into bed and decided to catch up on all my Ruby episodes i have been dvr'ing. i know, she is a kooky evangelical annoying virgin -- but i LOVE her! so the final episode i caught up on was where she was challenged to change up 5 things in weight loss journey. the idea behind that was that insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different result. hmmmmm. something to think about. and of course one of my 5 things is to exercise and make it part of my routine. i am still not sure what my other four things are but will think about it some more and most likely blog about it.
it is another day in paradise here. the princess and i are going to a waterpark today with other lesbian families. but first i am taking clothes to the consignment store. i have been doing great with my consignments. so far i have been able to walk in and "buy" new clothes and not had to lay out any money. this latest trip pretty much clears me out. i am at that awkward stage where i am not yet an 18/20 but i am definitely not a 22/24. and, babbling amy, for the record...i am bringing in 8 pairs of jeans today and that leaves me with only THREE pairs of jeans. the horror!
so....i left there in.a.mood. fine, i thought, i won't go back to the office and i won't pick the princess up early...i will go home and walk the fucking 2 miles around my neighborhood. and then maybe, just maybe, i will get in the pool and do laps. then...i drove past a fabulous shopping center and what is better than pigging out and/or exercising...that's right -- SHOPPING!!!!! so i ended up going into old navy in the first time in years. i know, i know, we are supposed to be boycotting them after their jeans were so mean to Jen. but i promise i did not even look at the jeans rack. no instead i went into the dressing room with a 2XL dress. came out buying an XL dress! then i went to payless and got a cute pair of flats and then Avenue for a bolero type top to wear over the dress since the dress is a tube maxi dress. and by that time i.felt.much.better. and, of course, by that time there was no time to really get a good exercise in so i went to whole foods to stock up on fresh soups for the next couple of post-fill days. and by then there really was no time to do anything so i went to pay a bill in person. who pays a bill in person in 2010? a person avoiding reality named heidi who weighs 256 pounds...that's who.
finally, i went and got the princess from school and we did come home and go in the pool but i basically stood in a good spot for tanning. i did move my legs a little but not much.
last night i had 3 small chocolate eggs that the princess brought home from school. yeah...i stole candy from my underweight kid to sabotage my weight loss. lol.
(please don't feel sorry for me. i am definitely not as upset today as i was yesterday and i know it will get better)
so then i got into bed and decided to catch up on all my Ruby episodes i have been dvr'ing. i know, she is a kooky evangelical annoying virgin -- but i LOVE her! so the final episode i caught up on was where she was challenged to change up 5 things in weight loss journey. the idea behind that was that insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different result. hmmmmm. something to think about. and of course one of my 5 things is to exercise and make it part of my routine. i am still not sure what my other four things are but will think about it some more and most likely blog about it.
it is another day in paradise here. the princess and i are going to a waterpark today with other lesbian families. but first i am taking clothes to the consignment store. i have been doing great with my consignments. so far i have been able to walk in and "buy" new clothes and not had to lay out any money. this latest trip pretty much clears me out. i am at that awkward stage where i am not yet an 18/20 but i am definitely not a 22/24. and, babbling amy, for the record...i am bringing in 8 pairs of jeans today and that leaves me with only THREE pairs of jeans. the horror!
Monday, March 8, 2010
lots on my mind...
i have been pretty reflective since my visit to the mental health counselor last week. nothing too deep....but i have allowed myself to step back and just "observe" my life and my interactions with my parents, daughter and food. nothing earth shattering revealed. there is definitely a problem. but there is most likely a good solution for all involved. right now i am still at the point that i don't want to do anything that will hurt my mom. i know through therapy i will get past those feelings.
here are some snippets:
my mom told me that she was mentioning to someone that not only is her daughter "disappearing", she never seems me anymore because i "don't really eat much anymore". er. um. houston..i think we have a problem.... lol
step by step. day by day. i will worry about crossing the river when i get to it.... <--- speaking of those mantras....i forgot to mention last week that i talked to the therapist last week about being overwhelmed with the idea of not knowing what i will look like as i continue to lose since i have not been this low in my adult life. she had the best response... i don't need to worry about that since it really is gradual and continual. duh.
which brings me to this mind-blowing news... i jumped on my parents WiiFit this weekend. this is the scale that is exactly the same as my surgeon's -- where i do my once a month official (and sometimes only) weigh-in. as of yesterday i weight 258. WTF? when you weigh 373...when you weigh 312....when you weigh 299.... someone in the 250s sounds soooooooooooooooooooo much less and sooooooooooooooooo skinny. my official monthly check-in is next monday but since i have to travel that day for work and won't be able to go i am going to try to get in this week sometime.
last week i was finding that i was mindlessly eating at dinner and getting stuck. 3 vomits, in fact. it was a busy week and lots of road time so i found myself just wanting to zone out and watch tv. and all the vomits happened on TV nights. lesson learned (maybe).
on saturday the princess and i did a charity walk with our dog and a group from my wls support group. it was a little over a mile and we had fun. you can see by the picture that my dog likes to stay anonymous on the internet.
here are some snippets:
my mom told me that she was mentioning to someone that not only is her daughter "disappearing", she never seems me anymore because i "don't really eat much anymore". er. um. houston..i think we have a problem.... lol
i have become increasingly aware, and perhaps uncomfortable, with the amount of times i call my parents a day. and more importantly, i am realizing how much i am training the princess to do this.
step by step. day by day. i will worry about crossing the river when i get to it.... <--- speaking of those mantras....i forgot to mention last week that i talked to the therapist last week about being overwhelmed with the idea of not knowing what i will look like as i continue to lose since i have not been this low in my adult life. she had the best response... i don't need to worry about that since it really is gradual and continual. duh.
which brings me to this mind-blowing news... i jumped on my parents WiiFit this weekend. this is the scale that is exactly the same as my surgeon's -- where i do my once a month official (and sometimes only) weigh-in. as of yesterday i weight 258. WTF? when you weigh 373...when you weigh 312....when you weigh 299.... someone in the 250s sounds soooooooooooooooooooo much less and sooooooooooooooooo skinny. my official monthly check-in is next monday but since i have to travel that day for work and won't be able to go i am going to try to get in this week sometime.
which brings me to...restriction... still have it, and i have to say that i am still SURPRISED every morning when i think i am hungry before i start and lo and behold i am feeling good with just a shake. i do feel it starting to wear off a little. i am able to get in a little more food but not that much. i am not sure if i need a fill yet or not. i think the idea of being "in the green" and in the 250s is just so foreign to me i don't know what to think...lol...
last week i was finding that i was mindlessly eating at dinner and getting stuck. 3 vomits, in fact. it was a busy week and lots of road time so i found myself just wanting to zone out and watch tv. and all the vomits happened on TV nights. lesson learned (maybe).
this weekend i ate pretty much every lunch and dinner out. i had not problems with getting stuck or even pressure in my chest. i find it interesting to observe that i am better at monitoring my intake when i am in public with people. i also have soooooooooooo many leftovers for the week. yay! lots of diversity and i won't just go to the safe stand-bys of cottage cheese or fish.
on saturday the princess and i did a charity walk with our dog and a group from my wls support group. it was a little over a mile and we had fun. you can see by the picture that my dog likes to stay anonymous on the internet. afterwards the princess, dog and i went to my favorite "eat-outside" restarurant in the gay ghetto. while sipping my red-pepper gouda soup i easedropped on the two women at the next table. one was going on and on about going to "women's night" at a local gay bar and how all the women were either super-butch (manly in straight terms) or "50 pounds overweight". so now knowing and accepting that many people should really weigh 140 and that is not a sign of anerexia (lol) "50 pounds overweight" to this skinny bitch (not the good kind of skinny bitch that i am) is still under 200. damn. that pissed me off. so when she started making goo-goo eyes at my dog i pretended not to hear her. mature, i know. but i was just so let down by the image obesssed gay community i live in down here.
in addition to the group walk, i took my parents dogs to the dog park yesterday and borrowed my mom's bike (a grandma 3-wheeler that i secret covet) and rode with the princess for a while. just don't tell me i exercised and we will be ok. lol.
tonight is support group. i think it is the mental health counselor that checks in with us once a month. more later...
Monday, March 1, 2010
life in the tight lane...
sorry to sound like a broken record, but i am really trying to take advantage of reaching good restriction and entering the second phase of band life (between month 3 and 4). i want this to be a time of accelerated weight loss.
i am definitely one of those SKINNY bitches who can only get liquid down in the morning right now. i am making sure that it is a high protein shake, even if it takes me an hour. lunch is also high-protein and brought from home. i am not going out to eat anymore at work unless i "have" to. i am having no problem controlling my portions and listening to my body lately...it is the leftovers. i take them home and find myself having 3 dinners spread over 4 hours. not good. so no more leftovers. i am trying to maintain one dinner, high protein, by 7PM and that is it for the night. otherwise it is binging/grazing/PBing/vomiting. not good.
one minor change i have made at work is that i am no longer keeping my lunchbag on my desk throughout the day. i caught myself grazing early last week. now the bag goes out in the main part of the department in our refrigerator. so far that is working. however, if i find myself still grazing the bag is going downstairs to the break room for the whole building.
i am seeing the eating disorder counselor today. first visit. trying to talk myself into "dealing" with this...
and then support group. yay...
i am definitely one of those SKINNY bitches who can only get liquid down in the morning right now. i am making sure that it is a high protein shake, even if it takes me an hour. lunch is also high-protein and brought from home. i am not going out to eat anymore at work unless i "have" to. i am having no problem controlling my portions and listening to my body lately...it is the leftovers. i take them home and find myself having 3 dinners spread over 4 hours. not good. so no more leftovers. i am trying to maintain one dinner, high protein, by 7PM and that is it for the night. otherwise it is binging/grazing/PBing/vomiting. not good.
one minor change i have made at work is that i am no longer keeping my lunchbag on my desk throughout the day. i caught myself grazing early last week. now the bag goes out in the main part of the department in our refrigerator. so far that is working. however, if i find myself still grazing the bag is going downstairs to the break room for the whole building.
i am seeing the eating disorder counselor today. first visit. trying to talk myself into "dealing" with this...
and then support group. yay...
Sunday, February 21, 2010
trouble in paradise....
and by paradise i mean my wallet!
yesterday i went by the plus size consignment clothes and found out i had $125 available to me to shop. so i stocked up on size 22 (!!!!!) jeans to wear right now and some 18/20 tops that were too nice to pass up -- that i can wear in a couple months. i spent $80 of my consignment funds.
the problem is....i bought a 2X Banana Republic top. it actually fits around my shoulders and chest, but is too tight at the waist. i also bought a size 20 Old Navy long linen skirt that fits me right now. i am a clothes whore. and more to the point, i have no shame in saying i covet labels. i have not been really been able to shop in a Banana Republic, GAP, Old Navy, etc. since I was in high school (20 years). this becomes a problem for my wallet. it is one thing to be a clothes whore at the avenue and their clearance rack or Macy's with the occasional INC top that is 40% off...but to start to realize the stores that await my wallet. ai yi yi! lol.
i am refusing to wear my size 26 jeans and pants anymore and will be packing those up for Babbling Amy.
in fill/restriction news... i had a 0.5cc fill on friday to complete my 0.5cc pre-cruise fill a couple weeks ago. according to their scale i am down 3 pounds in 2 weeks. i want MORE loss showing on the scale. according to my parents scale for the Love Me Challenge I am down 7 pounds since we returned from the cruise last Sunday and i was up a pound. both the doctors scale and my parents scale pretty much line up with each other. my parents was one more pound down, but that was after a day of only liquids since i was at the surgeon's.
i have a confession to make...for the past couple fills i have not been that great about following my surgeon's rule of 2 days of liquids and 2 days of soft after a fill. i would usually be on softs by the second day and back to eating by the end of the 3rd day. so far this time, i have been great. even went to a dinner party friday night and brought my own soup.
i just had 1/4 cup of cottage cheese for breakfast and i feel satisfied. i want to get to the point, like i see on other blogs, that i am only eating one or two scallops and am totally fine with that.
today i am going to a potluck brunch. i am bringing my "famous" low-carb/gluten free crustless quiche. it is just a nirvana of 10 different cheeses. i am hoping it will be soft enough for me. if not, i will have my shakes with me.
i am commited to this afternoon of spending as many hours it takes to catch up on all the blogs, comment and be active in our community again.
until then...successful living thoughts to you....
yesterday i went by the plus size consignment clothes and found out i had $125 available to me to shop. so i stocked up on size 22 (!!!!!) jeans to wear right now and some 18/20 tops that were too nice to pass up -- that i can wear in a couple months. i spent $80 of my consignment funds.
the problem is....i bought a 2X Banana Republic top. it actually fits around my shoulders and chest, but is too tight at the waist. i also bought a size 20 Old Navy long linen skirt that fits me right now. i am a clothes whore. and more to the point, i have no shame in saying i covet labels. i have not been really been able to shop in a Banana Republic, GAP, Old Navy, etc. since I was in high school (20 years). this becomes a problem for my wallet. it is one thing to be a clothes whore at the avenue and their clearance rack or Macy's with the occasional INC top that is 40% off...but to start to realize the stores that await my wallet. ai yi yi! lol.
i am refusing to wear my size 26 jeans and pants anymore and will be packing those up for Babbling Amy.
in fill/restriction news... i had a 0.5cc fill on friday to complete my 0.5cc pre-cruise fill a couple weeks ago. according to their scale i am down 3 pounds in 2 weeks. i want MORE loss showing on the scale. according to my parents scale for the Love Me Challenge I am down 7 pounds since we returned from the cruise last Sunday and i was up a pound. both the doctors scale and my parents scale pretty much line up with each other. my parents was one more pound down, but that was after a day of only liquids since i was at the surgeon's.
i have a confession to make...for the past couple fills i have not been that great about following my surgeon's rule of 2 days of liquids and 2 days of soft after a fill. i would usually be on softs by the second day and back to eating by the end of the 3rd day. so far this time, i have been great. even went to a dinner party friday night and brought my own soup.
i just had 1/4 cup of cottage cheese for breakfast and i feel satisfied. i want to get to the point, like i see on other blogs, that i am only eating one or two scallops and am totally fine with that.
today i am going to a potluck brunch. i am bringing my "famous" low-carb/gluten free crustless quiche. it is just a nirvana of 10 different cheeses. i am hoping it will be soft enough for me. if not, i will have my shakes with me.
i am commited to this afternoon of spending as many hours it takes to catch up on all the blogs, comment and be active in our community again.
until then...successful living thoughts to you....
Thursday, February 18, 2010
mirror, mirror on the wall...
thank you for sharing in my joy yesterday of getting past the Southwest blubber police. i don't want to mislead anyone and have them think that i am walking around always delusional and all rainbows, chirping birds and singing mice. i am still struggling with the brain vs body thing.
on another note...muscle milk light protein shakes are NASTY. pure evil. when i got into town yesterday i went to the grocery store to get a 4-pack of shakes to get through this trip. they did not have my EAS AdvantEdge so i bought the Muscle Milk Light. NASTY. i ended up giving the other 3 to a homeless man a couple blocks from the grocery store. i did not have time to go find my EAS shakes until after yesterday's meetings. but i will never buy muscle milk again.
today i am flying back home...so, one more rendezvous with the Southwest blubber police...i was listening to Rosie Radio on Sirius yesterday and people were calling in about the airline issue. Rosie was taking the stance of that Kevin Smith is in denial about how fat he is. the portion of the show i heard there happened to be two calls -- one from a gastric bypass patient and a lap band patient. the lap band woman was sooooooooooooo nice. she lost 200 pounds overs two years and recently invited an obese person to sit with her (and even offered to take the middle seat) and put the armrest up for the woman because she remembered how it felt to be obese on a plane. i hope that i never forget my obese self and remain kind.
yesterday i was at a community meeting. ironically, i have not been in this particular community since my 4th day post-op. i got a lot of feedback on my weight...including from the elected official over dinner. while no one asked during my presentation...my attention seeking whore-ness left the meeting satisfied...
i have always joked that i had undiagnosised Body Dysmorphic Disorder -- i always saw a thinner person in the mirror than i really was. i wonder if that image is flipping. i feel fat lately. really fat. i keep taking progress pics and i don't like them. am i being inpatient? maybe. i don't know. i just know i feel fat. and quite frankly, let's admit it...i am. i may have lost 100 pounds -- but i still have over 100 to go...and my body looks that way...
i also think i need the other 1/2cc of fill that i did not take before my cruise. i am eating much more than i should. not an obscene amount...but more than i should. i did find myself thinking yesterday that "maybe" i will wait until monday for my fill so i can eat some "special" things this weekend. not good. i know i am not in this to deprive myself -- but at the same time i can NOT start manipulating the band.
today i am flying back home...so, one more rendezvous with the Southwest blubber police...i was listening to Rosie Radio on Sirius yesterday and people were calling in about the airline issue. Rosie was taking the stance of that Kevin Smith is in denial about how fat he is. the portion of the show i heard there happened to be two calls -- one from a gastric bypass patient and a lap band patient. the lap band woman was sooooooooooooo nice. she lost 200 pounds overs two years and recently invited an obese person to sit with her (and even offered to take the middle seat) and put the armrest up for the woman because she remembered how it felt to be obese on a plane. i hope that i never forget my obese self and remain kind.
yesterday i was at a community meeting. ironically, i have not been in this particular community since my 4th day post-op. i got a lot of feedback on my weight...including from the elected official over dinner. while no one asked during my presentation...my attention seeking whore-ness left the meeting satisfied...
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
the good news is that i didn't cry at the surgeon's office...
....which is definitely one of my past weight loss behaviors when things didn't go right. the not-surprising, but kind of disappointing, news is that i weigh 282. yes. the wall still exisits. sigh. deep sigh.
moving on....looking at the postive...i have lost 30 pounds since october 22nd. my surgery was 2 months ago. i am 10 pounds away from acheiving my first mini-goal of a 40 pound loss by our february 11th disney cruise. i know believe that i will break the 281.5 wall by my next appointment on february 2nd. i got another 1 cc fill for a total of 6.
Ten Rules for Living with the LAP-BAND® System:
- Eat only when you are hungry, and no more than three small meals a day.
- Eat slowly and chew thoroughly.
- Stop eating as soon as you feel full.
- Do not drink while eating.
- Do not eat between meals.
- Eat only good quality, nutritious food.
- Avoid fibrous food.
- Drink enough fluids during the day.
- Drink only low-calorie liquids.
- Exercise/be active at least 30 minutes a day.
and for my final positive thought for today.... regardless of today's weight and the wall in front of me....i will never look like this or weigh 373 again....
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
second fill
i went in today for a second fill. yes, it was only one week ago that i got my first. only 0.5ccs but also talked to the PA for a little while about where i am... we both think that i need to up my calories a little too. the issue is, the band is working. it is telling me when to slow down and stop eating. but at the same time i am crazy hungry about 2.5 hours after eating. so i need to stick to the 1/2 cup - 3/4 cup quantity but up the caloric quantity.
listen, i hated both math and science in school... and all these numbers are giving me a headache! lol. but i appreciated her coming in and analysing my intake to help me do this right.
the other benefit was i got to hop on the scale... down 2 pounds this week... so obviously i am doing something right --- especially since this week included the weekend i was away from home and in someone else's kitchen and ate out a lot. but, really, i don't want to be uncomfortable or struggle too much.
listen, i hated both math and science in school... and all these numbers are giving me a headache! lol. but i appreciated her coming in and analysing my intake to help me do this right.
the other benefit was i got to hop on the scale... down 2 pounds this week... so obviously i am doing something right --- especially since this week included the weekend i was away from home and in someone else's kitchen and ate out a lot. but, really, i don't want to be uncomfortable or struggle too much.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
i am an official bandster now!
i have the band. i have my first fill. 4.5 ccs total.
you know how they say that after surgery you find other things to do besides eat or constantly think about eating? and you know how during our pre-op time we don't believe them? can't wrap our minds around that concept? today i finally get it! now instead of starving myself before doctor weigh-ins or rushing to get something to eat after weigh-in -- i rush through traffic so i can update my online weight-loss ticker! lol.
another 5 pounds down today. total weigh loss is 22 pounds. yay me!
the fill went great. i requested the surgeon do it and got to chat with him. it literally takes 30 seconds. i feel fine but i do know quite well that i really need to take small sips right now. chew, chew, chew. sip, sip, sip. i think i need a tape with that on it to listen to in my sleep.
he also mentioned he heard about the nutritionist and told me that his office is not the only one having these issues. he says it is frequent discussions with colleagues around the state. he said that the whole pushing carbs thing is a big problem for his practice. i suspect they will be bringing in their own person soon and stop using the hospital nutritionists.
i am wearing a new (size 26) black and white polka dot shirt today and size 24 side-zip cigarette pants. people are freaking out about my look and the noticeable difference.
ok, the important stuff is done -- weight loss ticker is updated and blog is current... need to get back to work...lol.
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