cheap and easy post...

some random ramblings...

stayed home from work today. needed a mental health day. i have felt "weird" all week and there was some moist stuff, i think they are called tears (sp?), randomly coming from my eyes. lol. i have an IUD so i don't get my period...but i sure felt pms'y and didn't want to act bat shit crazy at work.

ran into the woman who convinced me to see the surgeon. it was such an warm and emotional (see above) conversation. she has lost over 100 pounds since having her lap band in nov 08. just amazing. i will be forever grateful to her for sharing her story with me over lunch at a work event this summer.

there must be a full moon in pre-schooler sphere because my daughter has been whacked out the last couple days (see above). i actually brought her home from school early today to give her some extra attention and get her to chill out. when i was little my mother always wish a child just like me on me when i was being bad (a l0t). i wish she would lift the spell. having a 4 year old throw you 14 year old attitude over what she is wearing to preschool is getting old.

i am ready for my fill next tuesday. i feel out of control with my food (see above). not the type of food but the amount and frequency. i want this journey to start for real and i want it NOW.

i need to commit to exercising (see above).

i didn't sleep with a binder on last night and today i felt pulled again. this time where i assume the stoma/band are. i have the binder on now and it seems ok. did i tell you all i am a hypochondriac? lol.

glee is on tonight. i like glee. i hope mrs. shu gets busted for lying tonight. quinn too. i read somewhere that next week is the last episode before april. i hope both those issues are resolved.

i am going to hell...do you like my handbasket?

WHY GOD, WHY?

on this lovely and quiet thanksgiving eve...after a lovely and quiet day home from work where i wanted to eat everything in sight...i realized that i am in "bandster hell".*

just what did i do to deserve this? thanksgiving. trip to disney. and i am HUNGRY....

i have been reading online the last hour and found some good advice... that any weight gain or plateau that arises during this time will be null and void in the long run once i am on-track with restriction. i think this is sound and fair advice and i will take it in an effort to stay sane the next TWO weeks until my first fill.

did i mention tomorrow is a eating holiday? did i mention i am going to disney?

* for my non-band friends reading..."bandster hell" is refers to the time after surgery when your stomach is no longer swollen from surgery and you have no restriction in your band...thus leaving you hungry and requiring you to use willpower to control your eating. if i had willpower...would i be here today?