today has been filled with emotions. i am usually not reflective on new years eve. eh. ya know? but today is another one of those days in paradise. 75 degrees. nice breeze. blue skies. you can't ask for me. i promised the princess that we would go to a playground and have a picnic today.
i am ashamed to say that in her almost 5 short years i have done limited outdoor activities with her. i live less than 10 minutes from the beach and the only two times her feet has touched the sand has been once when we drove up the coast to watch the space shuttle launch and we stopped off in juno beach for her "first" trip to the beach. she was almost 4 that day. the second time is this past september when we went on a disney cruise and actually frolicked on their private beach. my adversion to the beach has nothing to do with bathing suits. i live in florida. i spend all summer in a bathing suit in the pool. my aversion to the beach is no different to my aversion to anything that requires energy and attention. weighing over 300 pounds it is hard to do such simple things like taking your daughter to the playground. not something i am proud of.
so anyhoo... today i took one large step towards my Kindergarten Challenge victory. we went to the playground. (me stylishly in my 22/24 top and the princess in her always appropriate pink cowgirl boots). but not only did we go to the playground we also took some blankets and had a picnic for lunch. i was able to sit on the ground without the fear of getting off the ground and not uncomfortable from supporting my back. sure, getting up was less than graceful... but i fucking did it.
the other thing going on today is that i emptied out my closet this morning. the amount of clothes i have is obscene and unnecessary. i have 3 piles going -- consignment, charity and craigslist. i definitely see a style shift in my future. less flowy big print tops and little more muted lesbian preppy -- ala ellen degeneres. why do fat people, and by fat people i mean me, think that big flowy prints make them look good????
and finally...my word for 2010 will be believe. i believe this will be my final weight loss journey. i believe in my ability to sustain and work the gift of the band. i believe in me. cue cher music....
I'm so proud of you!! Going to the park with your daughter! And I am sure that by Summer, when you are heading towards the skinny side, you will also take her to the Beach again!!
ReplyDeleteI hear you on the tops though! LOL I never liked what was available for us "fat" people, but unless you want to make your own, you don't have much choice.
And I love your 2010 word of believe. It is perfect!
Have A Happy New Year!!
Glad you were able to spend time at the park with your daughter, I'm sure she loved it. And I LOVE that she wears pink cowboy boots everywhere!
ReplyDeleteCracks me up about the big girl flowery tops. I had a joke with a friend of mine when we'd go shopping in the big girl section. Instead of the phrase "beggars can't be choosers" I'd always say "big girls can't be choosers" because there is never any selection and you'd just kind of have to get what they had.
What a wonderful post. 2010 is going to be an awesome year for all us banders!
ReplyDeleteLOVE this post! And since BELIEVE by Cher got me through a divorce, it's one of my favorite songs ever.
ReplyDeleteHere's to 2010!
Amy
I have a whole lot of size 20 shorts I am about to Goodwill... since you live in FL, do you want/need any? If so, email me at sarah-fogler at comcast dot net! Loved the post and the picture of the chair!!!
ReplyDelete