no, i am not talking about my boobs (again). support group was tonight, silly!
i know i have said it before...but i will say it again... i love my surgical team.... tonight we ran about 30 minutes over but by the end of the meeting we were pretty much all in tears including the surgeon's wife/facilitator. it was just an emotional floodgate tonight ending with this group declaration of thanks for the care and support they offer to us. for basically saving our lives, making each of us feel valued and most importantly believing in us and not judging us. i know at the end of the day it is a business for them -- but a lot of businesses can learn a lot from them.
so tonight's exercise was basically ending the year in a reflection mode. we went around the table a few times and answered the following questions:
1. What negative thing are you leaving behind in 2009? (we also wrote this answer down on a sheet of paper and place it in a box/crypt that said RIP 2009 on top.
- i wrote down "excuses" and "worrying". i said that i was sick of making excuses for not losing weight and worrying about my parents approval and the what ifs.
2. What positive thing did you accomplish in 2009?
- i said my decision to have the surgery. and i said that related directly to what i buried in the box -- no more excuses. no more worrying about my parents approving. letting go of my sister's unsupportiveness (because, you know, nobody wants their morbidly obese sister to ever be thinner than them....). i got claps from the group and the facilitator said it was really deep. i just said "really?" lol.
3. Short-term / Long-term goals for 2010.
- Short-term: own the surgery. get to that 50 pound mark where i really understand it and am working the band.
- Long-term: break the cycle of food abuse/obesity in my family by becoming a healthy weight so my daughter will have no recollection of me morbidly obese. (and this is where the tears started for me....)
- because the tears were flowing i did not say the other part of my 2010 goal which is to sit in a little kindergarten chair on parents night when my daughter starts kindergarten in august 2010. i will NOT be the most obese mother in that room.
so now it is your turn.... tell me...
awe....glad you made support group! It sounds positive and the K chair goal brought tears to my eyes!
ReplyDeleteI totally relate! One of my goals is to feel like a normal(not the fattest) Mom when my daughter starts Kindergarten next fall. I was hoping to be a 14 by then, but since I'm already squeezing my butt into a 16, I'm going to set the lofty goal of a 10.
ReplyDeleteI was the chubby daughter of the fattest Mom in the room and don't want my girl to go through that.
We can do it together!
I can so relate to the sister thing. I only told my best friend and my husband about my surgery. They are great support so I didn't see a reason to share with anyone else
ReplyDeleteJust a quick note: Tracey got home late last night, and he had just sat down as I was reading your comment about him...I read it to him and I saw his head inflate (that sounded dirty)...anyways, you made his day and you made me laugh!
ReplyDeleteFitting into desk chairs remind me of college and how embarrassing it was to squeeze into those chairs with the desk attached. And how I really had to work to not let my stomach hang over. I was always jealous of those girls who could sit in them and there was actual airspace between their stomachs and the desk parts.
Linda: Let's do it! The Kindergarten Challenge! Let's set a goal for us to be "comfortable" when our babies start big girl school (boohoo).
ReplyDeleteAmy: Forget about the girls who had airspace...what about the ones who could have airspace and tuck their legs under their bodies! that would be totally awesome to accomplish. maybe by the time the princess starts high school. lol. Glad I can make Tracey happy...lol.
This is a great post-- I am too freaked out right now to make any new goals, I get alternatively anxious and eager-- right now anxious and I can't get to thinking about any more goals.
ReplyDeleteI love the Kindergarten Challenge. THat is awesome.
I guess my main goal would be to go into any social situation and NOT think first about my weight and whether I'm being judged. That would be awesome.
Awesome post. One of my goals is also that my kids never remember their fat mom.
ReplyDeleteAmy
Wow! this is my first visit to your blog. I got the link from Amy's (Sunkist) blog. My oldest son is 16 and I have been trying to fit into his desks as long as I can remember. My last big goal was to be thin when he started High School. I missed out on that one. But I've got the ball in motion now and I'm just waiting on my surgery date. I'm sick of being the only football mom who can't wear the cute football mom shirts. I wish I'd had the courage to consider surgery a few years ago. But I'm on my way. Thanks for being such an inspiration. Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteTessie
My blog is "Band me Baby!"