my trifecta of issues...

so...long time no post. i have been gradually getting back to work, home and social life since returning from new orleans. busy weekend here. tonight i am going to a party with a "gender bender" theme. i am going as an 80s prom girl. i know my outfit has nothing to do with bending gender...but it is what i *want* to wear! lol.

i have really been working hard in therapy tackling my issues. it seems like there are 3 major themes that have floating to the top...my food addiction....my narcissism....and my "all or nothing" mindset -- and where all of these issues stem from.... i plan to explore these each separately in my blog. today i will talk about food addiction.

up until this past wednesday i wasn't really convinced that i really was a food addict. i could maybe admit i was a binge eater...but addict...wasn't so sure...but then i after being away from home for almost a week i opened the freezer and saw that it was packed...i mean PACKED... to the gills with food. multiple boxes and bags of the same kind of food. and it hit me... i am a food hoarder. oh.my.god. it was scary. standing there having this realization. just like a drug addiction i am always planning for the next fix. should have gotten the damn band on my brain and not stomach....

multiple bags of costco salmon. two big costco bags of meatballs. THREE boxes of my daughter's organic chicken nuggets. two boxes of small frozen quiches. and it goes on and on and on.

it is only the princess and me in the house. we both eat basically the same amount of food. and as you know, it is not that large of quantity we consume. but standing there i realized that i have been systematically stocking up on food since i had the surgery. just like a hoarder you see on TV hoarding "things" to fill a void...i am hoarding food to fill a void.... what is that void? i don't know yet. we have talked about a couple things in therapy.... but i am not sure yet. but it definitely goes back to my parents and the enmeshment issues i have.

in other news...i am looking forward to the B.O.O.B.S getaway to Chicago in September. i will be putting the date on my folks calendar so they can watch the princess for me. i do have to warn you that *everytime* i am in Chicago (ok, twice in my life) there is a "freak" ice storm. so pack accordingly (<--------- see that is my narcissism assuming that the world's weather patterns are affected by my humble travels...oh the narcissism post will be a juicy blog post for you to read... <--------see...now my narcissism leads me to think that my blog post will be good *for* you...lol)