living somewhere between 196.5 and 202....

so today was my "official" weigh-in day at the surgeon's.... a month ago i set a goal for myself to weigh 198 by today. 

because i do not weigh myself at home during the month this is usually a big surprise.   i hate surprises.  hate them.   well... i love surprise parties.  what i really hate is being caught off guard by something i may need to emotional fortify myself for...like stepping on the scale.

so....this morning on the way to work i stopped off at Publix (our grocery chain) and stepped on the public scale.  it said 198!  so i drove to work knowing today's weigh-in will be "ok".  i put out of my mind those pesky comments from my therapist about how i should NOT be jumping on the Publix scale because everyone and their mother is on it all day and it can not be accurate and her general feelings about food issues and weighing yourself at the grocery store.

went to work and popped out at 9:30 for my doctor's appointment...stepped on the scale.  saw it tally up...167, 184...202 is where it landed.   a six pound loss this month which is good.   not making my own self-created ambitious goal which is still "ok".

but it was kind of bugging me.... did i meet my goal or not?  so i decided on the way back to the office to stop off at a different Publix which was along the way and weigh myself and i would decide then what to think.   well....now i am in a pickle...because it did NOT say 198.  it did NOT say 202.   but it DID say 196.5.   LOL.   (and, yes, i took a picture of this)... so who knows what i weigh.   i will keep with 202 for purposes of tracking on my blog here.   but i will also go to bed tonight knowing that by the princess' 6th birthday next week i will sooooooooooooo weigh under 200 pounds.    and definitely by my next weigh-in March 3rd

i sent my mom the pic from the scale.   she is so excited.  i am too.

here is what i do know...i look thinner.  i look at myself from the side and i see a really thin person (as long as the skin is tucked in).  yesterday i was wearing a big flowy shirt and i still felt thin when i looked in the mirror. also, i was looking at the lane bryant mailing that came in the mail and i could not relate to the size of the models.   remember when we used to always complain that the models looked to skinny to shop at lane bryant?   now they look to fat to be modeling stuff i would wear.   weird.   i feel AMAZING.   and i weigh less than i did in high school.  and by high school i mean probably junior year of high school.