when life gives you lemons....

stuff them in your bra....  i actually bought this sign down in the keys last month (was it really last month?).

i didn't know it at the time, but this is my new mantra.   i have decided that instead of focusing solely on the pain... i will recognize the pain (not pretend like everything is perfect but allow emotions and feelings) and celebrate the end result of the pain.... a fucking slamming tight body with perky boobs that i will have for the rest of my life.....

that being said.... the pain is not that bad tonight.   and that is because i saw the chiropractor.  if my plastic surgeon is perfect to be a stand in for rick moranis in honey, i shrunk the kids.   his chiropractor brother is Juicy Joe from the Real Housewives of New York's long lost twin.  seriously.   his name is actually "dr. joe".  but what a charmer i tell ya.   i found myself flirting with him.   even while my inner dialogue was: get a hold of yourself, woman.  you are a DYKE!  but there i was.  in his office.  giggling, crossing my legs.  had my arms crossed on top of my knees, batting my eyelashes.  talking about riding harleys.  local celebrities we know.  WTF?  lol.  i blame the two alleve i took this morning....lol.  then his office manager used to be a man.  or she is just an 80 year old jewish lady who smokes a carton a day and has had multiple face-lifts.  it is so hard to tell sometimes down here.   so the whole experience was an acid trip for me today. 

 
but he did the whole chiropractor work up on me.   what my x-rays showed is that my ligaments are all stretched from all the former fat and they are not holding my bones together.  instead the muscles are doing all the work.   he will at least provide temporary relief until rick moranis, his brother, cuts my front off.

so, there have been some questions about exactly what is going on and what surgery will do.   we are looking at a breast reduction and cutting off the stomach apron -- covered by insurance.    i also have a flabby part between my breast and stomach apron.  my understanding this is what will not be covered by insurance but the removal of that and the pulling tight of everything will be the rest of the same procedure.   there is also a difference between the breast and chest.  the breast is your boobs.  the chest includes the sides.   so he will also pull my sides tight too.  i believe that is non-insurance.  i have no idea what my out of pocket costs will be, but will cross that bridge when i come to it.  i am hoping for no more than $2500 out of pocket. 

right now the pain radiates down my spine and across the top and bottom of my back.  almost like the letter I.   the pain is real burning pain as well as feeling like a weight is pushed me down (or a 40 pound monkey).   it also gets real tingly.    it is 9:40.  i have not had alleve since 7AM and since being adjusted and having massage therapy today this is the first time today where i am having a hard time holding up my back.  

juicy dr. joe suggested that i visualize a board or plank coming perpendicular from my sternum and walk and sit as if i am balancing that plank.   it helps, actually.  also, i should walk with my chin up. 

so.........chin up!