back from cruise. back to basics.

the cruise was abslutely WONDERful.    my parents loved it (their cabin was their anniversary present from me and they were unsure of a cruise with no casino...lol).   and the princess had an amazing birthday.   as you can see from the pictures we are "that" family -- that wears silly outfits and lives for theme nights!  lol.  LOVE IT!

i was in full control with my eating and mostly stuck with appetizers.   one night i had a "Mixed Grill" entree as my only food and ate about 1/4 of it.  basically got in a couple bites of each meat on the plate.    because i am doing the Love Me challenge i weighed myself at my parents when we got back yesterday.  i was up 1 pound.  and.this.is.why.i.can.not.weigh.myself.   i went into total self sabotage mode yesterday.  even ordering a pizza "for the princess".  i will most likely complete this challenge -- but after this NO MORE for me.  no more weekly weighing.  my plan had been to only weigh once a month at the surgeons and that is what i am going to do.  i know that the one pound is because i mostly at things like smoked salmon, tuna tartare and shrimp cocktails  -- water retention foods.  and i know i was not the best with my daily water intake.   but i can not put myself in a position where i am going to a. self sabotage or b. live by excuses. 

which brings me to today's theme...   i am now only doing things that feel right for ME ME ME.  and right now the only things that feel right for ME are being a mom/daughter, being healthy mentally, intellectually and physically and making a living (which enables me to be a mom and to be healthy).  family.health.career.   

this all hit me on the last night of the cruise as i sat at the table with my family and realized that i had everything i needed in the world at that table.   my parents.  my daughter.  my health.  and the means in which to afford these types of vacations.   family.health.career.

this means that i am going to become more discriminate with my social outings.   in the last year i have gotten very involved in a women's social group.  it is amazing.  but at the same time i find myself going to more and more than i really can swing.  i need to pick and choose my times away from the princess more wisely.  i need to make sure they are events i want to be at and do not feel obligated to be out.  i love to read, i love to be around smart people.  these lead me to being intellectually and mentally healthy. and i know this sounds absolutely crazy to my non-lapband friends reading this...but if this means i choose to stay in and read blogs and blog my thoughts...that is what i will do over going out. family.health.career.

this also means i am not dating right now.   in the week leading up the cruise i realized in the midst of some dating drama that i can no longer be responsible for making sure someone else is "ok" or that my actions or words make them happy.   and the way to avoid being put into that situation right now is to not date. family.health.career.

i know this sounds super-selfish --- but i am ok with that.   this year is about ME ME ME and that may mean that i come across as selfish or cold.  family.health.career.

just like i have trained myself to go for protein first when eating.  i will train myself with every choice i make with spending my time --- does this benefit my family? health? career?

today is a beautiful 70 degrees in south florida.   the schools are closed as is my employer.  the princess and i have all the windows open and we are enjoying the last day of our vacation at home.  tonight is support group.   this week i have to travel two days/one night for work and then friday is a half day at work.  so all in all an easy week which will allow me to refocus my energy and start the rest of my life....

successful eating thoughts going your way....