i blame jimmy buffett....

it really started innocently enough.   four former fat girls decide to weather the crowds and parking deck madness and head out to CityWalk Orlando for dinner and drinks.   i can not and will not speak for anyone else....but for me...i am one Havanas and Bananas and some Fried Pickles in and we decide to walk around and "window shop".   there is some vera bradley on sale.   there are FitFlop boots being tried on.  

and then....from across the crowded shop....like a beacon in a long dark cold florida night i see a pair of "Not Your Daughter Jeans".  size 14.  claim to be "tummy tuck" jeans.  i say: "i am going to try them on". "ha ha", i say.   "i may cry", i say because i have been struggling so much in my head with my stomach size that i have avoided pants shopping for months.    i hear a skinny sales girl say "i want to see them on you".  great.   i steal a glance at myself in the dressing room mirror and tell myself to just go through it.   don't cry, heidi.  it is just stupid expensive jeans.  maria, amy and stephanie of all people will understand if i am not a size 14 in expensive jeans yet.   

they go on.   and by "they go on" i mean they just go on.   up my legs, over my stomach and butt and zip.  on.  done.  never one to just sit back and accept things... i fly out of the dressing room.  do a twirl and go get the size 12s.   what the hell, right?    they go on.   well...amy had to finish pulling the zipper up for me but it was not like i had to lay down on a bed to suck it in anymore to get them to zip and my stomach was not hanging out of the fly.   

so....a picture taken by maria and $92 later...they are mine.   or so i thought.....

as we walk away from the store, Electric Band Stephanie announces that the jeans are hers next and it is only "lettuce and chicken, bitch" for me so that i will rapidly shrink out of them and hand them down to her, amy and maria.  

sooooooo..... if you are interested....there is *apparently* another challenge floating around....motivate heidi out of the size 12 expensive jeans and fit into them yourself.... lol.   no scales to take a picture of every week.  just fit into the damn jeans.