will it ever be enough? is it enough? (reposted -- hit publish by mistake)

i was at a party saturday night and got tons of comments on my weight-loss and how i was looking. one girl kept saying that i am "invisible". someone else told me that they thought i only need to lose 10 more pounds "but not more than that". WTF? i did not come this far to be chubby. lol. but i appreciate the compliment.

then the next day in my hangover haze i see the cover to the National Enquirer at the grocery store and it is SHOCKING NEWS that whitney houston weighs 175 pounds. 175 is front page news?????

i have no idea what my true goal weight is. i am mentally targeting 165 since that puts me at a healthy BMI. but i have no idea if i will still look big at the size. but, really, for me, it is not about looking big -- it is about looking good. and by that i readily admit that i mean it is about looking good to other people. i have no shame in saying that i want to be attractive to others and cut down my chances of my fat ass being splashed across the front page of a tabloid (as if! lol).

on the other hand,  i recently had the realization that for the first time in my adult memory i have less than 100 pounds to lose.  not 200 pounds to lose like i once did.   not 147 like when i started this journey.   i need to lose 70 pounds.   on one hand that sounds sooooo doable and easy.  on the other hand i know these will be the blood, sweat and tears pounds.   i can't wait for "this" to be over....

and just like the woman who said i only had 10 more pounds to go...i too sometimes forget that i am not there yet...like when i stripped down to my not-so tighty whities (ok, they were black and lace) and jumped into the hot tub the other night.  sure i had my bathing suit with me, but "why the hell not" is what i always say!

and in the spirit of moving forward,  i have decided to actively re-enter the dating market today -- the first day of summer.   i have posted an online ad and told friends i am on the "prowl" and to send willing victims women my way....  right now i am looking to date, have fun and get back out there.   look out world!  lol.