i was down 3 pounds...to 226. i also went to the doctor this afternoon for a fill. got 2 more put back in. i am up to 8.5. not sure on restriction yet as i am on fluids/mushies.
the scale thing is so fucked up for me. every morning i jump on the scale naked. and every day i EXPECT the weight to be 2 pounds down. really...i have this expectation. and when it is not two pounds down most mornings i get discouraged.
now, here is the thing...there is a part of my mind that KNOWS that it is totally unrealistic for me to go down 2 pounds every morning. that would be 14 pounds lost every week and 56 pounds a month. (cue dreamy music, doves flying, and mice putting a pretty dress on me.....)really, heidi? you rationally expect to lose 14 pounds a week? and when you don't -- you sabotage yourself daily....
yes. i do.
this really blows my mind. i know this is not realistic but yet day in and day out i hop my jiggly naked body on the scale expecting to see a loss of 2.
i know one solution is to stop jumping on the scale. i can't. i am dependent on it at this point. i remember at one point in the height of my loss and therapy i did not have a scale. right now i am sooooo scared of waking up at 373 pounds that i need the "security" of the scale in the house -- and more importantly the security of seeing a number on the scale every morning. preferably 2 less than the number the day before.
I am a fellow scale junkie and I share in your daily feelings of disappointment when I don't see a "big" loss. I have three moods after I get on the scale first thing in the morning. One is to end up angry at myself for whatever I did the day before (when it goes up even a smidge), second is to be overjoyed at what I see on the scale (when I have a "big" loss), and third is to feel ho hum (because the scale moved only a little or stayed the same). I sure wish there was a way to stop being a scale junkie. It really isn't always the perfect metric to drive my mood!
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