but anyhoo....... so even though i technically still *hate* girls, women and even ladies, i have met a fine young lady who has really piqued my interest. and not only that she is showing signs of being on my so-called "level" that my friends have talked about. my work schedule permitting, we may meet for a drink tonight. nice. just like in past dates, when the perfect moment arises i will slip in that i have lost a lot of weight via WLS...but as of right now she does not know.
but. but. but. yes. there is always a big but(t). we have this fun little email thread going back and forth on our shared secret addiction to crafting and going to Michaels. the conversation moved onto homemade halloween costumes. and she playfully requested pics of halloween costumes in the past....houston we have a big fat problem....my pics of halloween past are not just goofy and your run of the mill embarrassing halloween pictures....my pics of halloween past are my FAT pictures. i was able to deflect by flirting...by telling her that past halloween pics have to be "earned"....which of course garnered an equally flirtatious reply about ways to "earn" them.... whew.
BUT. ugh. i have no problem telling the truth about my past weight or how it was done. don't even have a problem telling how much i have lost. but sharing a pic like this with someone who did not know me then? OMG. no. no. no. and all this time i never thought about this. never thought about the pictures around the house.
just fyi....these are the pics on my online profile that she has seen. i am told this is what i look like today (LOL) but then again i still see rainbow girl up there...but that is a whole 'nother post....
i need someone to talk me off the ledge. stop me from freaking out and running away and avoiding this situation in real life and for the rest of my life. i need someone to tell me how to handle this and what to say and when to say it. HELP! What happens to our fat pictures? Do we hide them? Embrace them? What constitutes "earning" them????
A family friend used to be obese, but once he lost the weight he destroyed all old photos of himself or any evidence that he was once fat.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea that, for example, my baby nephew will never know me as fat. However, I don't mind the photos being around. It reminds me of how hard I worked. I'm proud of it.
.........that doesn't really answer the question, does it?
:)
Everyone has something in their past that they'd like to hide. For some of us its weight for others it might be bad credit issues or family problems. LOL..for me it's all three...aren't I a winner!!
ReplyDeleteJust get to know her first. No one says you have to share everything with someone you are dating right away. Just say what feels right when you are with her! Good luck! I'm taking my own advice too!
Hi there, I'm new here, but have been reading your blogs for awhile. I agree with parts of the other girls comments, I too struggle with getting rid of pictures that show me before WLS, HOWEVER, I'm still that person, I'm just thinner, those pictures represent parts of my life, good or bad and are part of my journey. I'm a total picture hoarder and while I usually hate them of myself, they are memories I'm not willing to destroy.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely second just getting to know her first and not needing to share everything right away. There is a time and place for everything and it will present itself when it's supposed to. Thanks for your posts....
I dunno babe..... I think I would just preface it with "I struggled pretty badly with a food addiction my whole life, so my past halloween pix are of a me that I don't connect with anymore. If you want to see them. Cool. If not. also cool."
ReplyDeleteAny potential suitor of MY Heidi should answer thusly "Wow... I think you great at any weight! I'm glad you're healthier now, and I'm so impressed by your courage to take control of your addiction! Marry me. Today!"
Something like that :)
BTW...... if you're on Facebook, you must friend me. Right now. This minute. go to:
http://www.facebook.com/tripletmomma2000
BTW........ You in that black dress????? SMOKIN'!
I keep fat pics around, to remember. I've kept my license picture, but it's getting old because some people think it's a fake ID (it's been problematic in important situations, like trying to get on an airplane...). I certainly don't run around showing everyone... because it's personal. Just like anything personal, you'll know when it's the right time to share... when you're comfortable... sometimes we create the moment (and you seem good at that), and sometimes the moment just happens. This is a difficult one, though...
ReplyDelete