Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Difficult Lunch - in real time

Sitting at lunch with an employee who has food addiction. She took one spoonful of soup and asked if there was free refills on soup. It was the appetizer to her chili cheese hot dog! Now she just got a bowl of another kind of soup to have with her hot dog. Oh god, she took a bite off another person's plate of mac and cheese.
I am trying not to judge. It is more just overwhelmed watching this. Thinking about all the past meals with her where we probably enabled each other.

I know she asks other staff about my surgery progress - but never me. I hope she does.

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5 comments:

  1. Amy W.February 3, 2010 at 3:18 PM

    I think this part of our journey is so interesting...the part where we start to see others as others probably once saw us! It kinda makes you feel bad...but I think it is a normal progression in our growing with the band. It really does allow us to step away from our craziness!

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  2. AmyFebruary 3, 2010 at 4:16 PM

    I understand. It's not a place of judging her as a bad person, but seeing a reflection of your old self in her and that realization is startling, to say the least.

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  3. DinnerlandFebruary 4, 2010 at 3:43 AM

    It seems like you'd honestly like to offer help but you have the right boundaries. Maybe one day she will come to you...
    As for my blog post, which seemed to be hurtful to you-- I am VERY sorry about that, I also posted on my blog and noted that I wasn't judging anyone for where they started. The point I was making was that I was glad and felt lucky that I started at a point where I don't have quite as much to lose.

    Wherever we start, is just that: where we start-- we each have to work it through to get to the point of health and comfort. You are doing great and are always insightful and I love to read your blog.

    Please accept my apologies if I hurt your feelings-- I did not mean to do so.
    Vanessa

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  4. Shrinking MommyFebruary 4, 2010 at 5:33 AM

    dinnerland...i am not hurt. just annoyed with the preachy holier than thou stuff. example...on 1/24 you are pretty preachy with someone over processed foods and goldfish. on 1/23 you post on your "other" blog about eating pretty much the same thing including cheese, chocolate and PRINGLES.

    perhaps your comments would be more effective and engaging to others if you kept the preaching out of it and just left it to how you can relate.

    just like when i see unsocialbe behavior in my employees and talk to them about it, i suspect this is not the first time you have encountered this wall in life (coming off as an unrelateable know-it-all)...we already saw it once here in blogland...your intentions may be good -- but something doesn't allow YOU to set boundaries and self edit. these blogs are tricky things... we use them as journals yet we are writing for an audience (we keep them public, allow comments, get involved in the blog community, etc)...BUT sometimes, just like i said in my comment to you, some things are better left untyped.

    and related to your recent post...your message would have been more helpful (and towards a greater community) had you just left it to YOUR reasons for having surgery now and not thrown in the little sidebar about 200 pounds and then telling people not to take offense. you don't say "don't take offense" unless you KNOW that is the outcome from your message.

    again, you can't hurt me. i am just beyond annoyed with you and actually told myself to stop reading you when i saw the goldfish speech --- but just like how i let myself get to 373 i must just be a glutton for punishment....lol.

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  5. carlaFebruary 4, 2010 at 11:11 AM

    Just wanted to stop by and say hi. I just started reading your blog and you are doing an awesome job..thanks for sharing your journey

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