five cups and moving forward

I had my cards (tarot) read last night. I have been wanting to it for a couple months now but felt uncomfortable going to a random psychic. There were readings “for a donation” being down at the botanical garden festival yesterday. So I decided the time was right.

While I was waiting for my turn, I quietly meditated about what I wanted answers to. I tried to focus on one issue for the most accurate understanding of my reading. So I formed the following question in my head: what is going to happen for the last ¼ of my journey.

The first deck was the Rider Waite deck. I don’t remember all the cards that were pulled but I can tell you that the first one was 5 cups. And the reader kept stressing that I had just experience a significant “loss”. As she went through my six cards she kept coming back to “loss”. She said that the five cups could mean regret or disappoint me but for me it looked like “loss”. She said I was showing a lot of emotions about this “loss” and that I was resisting letting go and keeping this emotional energy inside of me and I needed to release it. There were a couple cards that showed me turning back and looking over my shoulder and she indicated that if I needed to look back I should just look back and not dwell – but keep going forward and not be scared of what is waiting for me.

In the second deck we did, the second card I pulled was “moving”. Being away for work for over two weeks and knowing there is a lot of unrest there – my first thought went to that. The rest of the cards were in line with the other deck – releasing the past, etc. The card after moving showed intuition and perception. She said it showed that I was an old soul (been told that my whole life) and that I having angst because I am smart and I am scared to let go.

I asked her what “moving” meant and she had me pull another card. Interestingly enough, the patience card was pulled. According to my reader it was clear that “moving” meant from myself and my emotions and not physically moving. She kept referring to a spiritual “journey” as opposed to a physical one. And that I need to celebrate where I am and no worry about where I am going. She talked about literally taking time to smell the roses and appreciate nature instead of rushing through life.

I found it so interesting and comforting. The cards were Right on target from where I feel like I am. The words loss, angst, journey and emotion kept coming up and that really describes me right now. Being so close to achieving my weight loss goal is so scary for me. Dealing with the feelings (good and bad) that I am going through on a daily basis while I don’t have food to mask is very hard. It is tiring. Exhausting. The cards are telling me I need to let go. I need to stop being the girl who lost 150 pounds. And be the girl who has made it to the summit and all she has left to do is to safely get down the mountain….pole, pole (slow, slow as they say in Tanzania). And while I am going down the mountain the last 50 pounds will come.

It was cool to share with the reader at the end the “rest of the story” of what the cards were talking about.

More than the accuracy and comfort of the cards I am in awe that my mediation worked. I hve never been one who thought they could sit quietly in meditation nor that it actually worked. I am no fool. The cards were not twisted to answer my silent question. I guess there is something to be said about positive thoughts and the energy we give off in the universe. There is a crystal shop close by to our vacation home. I think we may venture over there today and look for some rocks.

Until then, Namaste….