live the life you imagined....

it took an email a plea for a visit from Babbling Amy ....an actual phone call from Electric Band Stephanie (the texting queen) ....AND an email from my first (and only) blog-girl crush, Amy W. (and i didn't even have to put on astronaut diapers.... ;-).....but i am back from the blog-dead...

 

honestly nothing but LIFE was keeping me away.   i have thought so many times "i need to blog about this"...but then i would get busy with LIFE.    i said my word this year would be LIFE / LIVING and that is exactly what i have been doing.... living life in my size 12s and medium shirts.... (and quite cutely, if i do say so myself....) i just ran across the street from my new office and took this picture in a consignment store dressing room....

 

here is the bullet- point update with details in subsequents posts this week (i promise).

• JOB -- i started my "dream job" in late march and it has been a challenge.  good challenge -- but a challenge nonetheless.... 
• WEIGHT -- has kind of been like watching grass grow.  i am down to 193.   but things have shifted considerably and like i said i wear a size 12 most days and am mostly buying size medium shirts from wal-mart brand to michael kors. have lost a size and half in shoes, too.
• PRINCESS -- growing by the day.  so mature.  such a good kid.
• BODY IMAGE -- improving like you wouldn't believe.  i finally am able to see what the mirror shows me.  i see a very narrow person when i look in the mirror.  i no longer see this imposing figure but instead a very shrunk version of someone i used to know.  i am able to see the hanging skin for what it is...temporary and not "fat"...
• EATING DISORDER / THERAPY -- still working on these but committed to it.  had a major breakthrough this week....
• PLASTIC SURGERY -- i have started to pay for my arm lift and breast lift which are scheduled for september 29. 
• LOVE LIFE -- i am in love.  this is for real.   The One Who Got Away (TOWGA™) is officially back in my life for good.   we had a two year break where we individually went through a lot but never lost sight of what could have been.   it is so natural and good.   i will definitely share more about this later...

back in february, for the princess' birthday, i got "live the life you imagined" tattoo'd on my foot in my own handwriting....and that is exactly what i have been doing...in order to do so i have had to take risks, consciously force myself to stop holding onto the past and learn how to make mistakes and survive.   i am here.